It's Only My Opinion

Things I want to tell my kids that won't fit on Twitter

Archive for the category “Dating”

Givers Gain is their happily ever after…

I belong to a Business Network International group in my area (BNI). It is a wonderful organization whose purpose is to help one another build our businesses by giving the people in our chapter and other local chapters,  qualified, warm referrals. We have a really amazing group. It is because of the culture that exists and the people that are there every week. I respect everyone in our chapter and find my Tuesdays happily  filled with BNI activities.

Our VP, Greer Canady, was asked by Ivan  Misner, who started BNI, to write her story about her involvement in BNI and how she met her husband through the network.  Greer doesn’t fancy herself a writer. I kinda do so I volunteered to interview her and write her story for her. I am like JR Moeringer was to Andre Agassi in the book Open (JR wrote the book ‘Open’ for Andre but didn’t really publicize it because as he said, it was Andre’s story not his. I went to high school with JR so I have been following his career and think his books are very good- pick up the The Tender Bar and tell me I am wrong. His new book Sutton is just out and he is on a book tour.)

So this is Greer’s story…. and I get to write it and share it here… in my blog….

Greer Cannady not only makes a good living with the many referrals she is passed at BNI, she has made a life from it, as well. Five years ago, Greer went to her first BNI meeting by way of the gentle prodding of her father, Chuck, who is also a BNI member and who was President of The Independence Chapter at the time. She loved what she saw and she joined that BNI Chapter the next week. Not long after joining, Greer stepped up as Secretary/ Treasurer of the Chapter. It was during her first month in this role that she went to that fateful Regional Leadership Meeting where she met Michael Cannady. As an officer, she was required to go to Leadership. She would later find out that Mike was the President of his Chapter and was there for the same reason.

Greer went into the meeting and started chatting with people from her Chapter, as most people do, and then sat down with them. After being comfortably situated, Steve Wiegert, the Executive Director, asked everyone to stand and choose another seat next to someone they did not know. This is where the facts are in dispute. Greer says, “Mike sat next to me and Mike says I sat next to him.” Whoever sat next to whomever beside the point… she immediately took notice of him. She was happy that she was sitting next to him. Sparks flew immediately. However, being a strong, old fashioned woman, she would have never called a man or been the one to ask a man out, so she is almost certain that he sat next to her. It did not escape her attention that he was not wearing the all-important ring on the all-important finger.

Mike and Greer Canady on their wedding day When the meeting at Paradise Park was over, he playfully asked her to join him in the foam pit for a foam ball shoot-out. She kicked off her heels and although in a dress, went in to do battle. After 20 minutes, they said their good-byes and went their separate ways. She didn’t see him again until the next monthly Leadership Meeting where he asked her to go out for lunch after the meeting, explaining he had some time to kill. She later found out that he had stretched the truth, as he had to excuse himself to cancel an appointment he had booked following the meeting.

Greer and Mike have been together ever since. Looking back, she is sure the foam ball pit was a test. He wanted to know if this attractive, positive, strong women he sat next to “by chance” at a BNI Leadership Meeting could go with the flow, have spur of the moment fun … and she passed with flying colors. She kicked off her heels and then fell head over heels in love.

She married Mike, nicknamed “BNI Boy” by Greer’s family, in June of 2011 on the side of a mountain in Summit County, Colorado.  Greer’s five years with BNI have been more than she ever dreamed of. She joined the Leadership Team of her Chapter almost immediately after joining BNI and she never looked back. She has served as President two times, Vice President, Secretary/Treasurer, and Chapter Coach. Most recently, in May of this year, she was selected to attend Director training in St. Louis and had the wonderful opportunity to meet, talk with, and be trained by Ivan Misner. “It was the best week of my professional career,” she says.

The organization and all of the people in it, have impacted her life in so many ways, all of them positive. It has made her a better employee, a better leader, a better speaker and she met her husband. She has grown financially, personally, and professionally as a direct result of BNI and the Giver’s Gain philosophy. Greer is forever grateful to the organization for the countless ways it changes lives. She has seen it with other people in BNI as well. “My favorite BNI moments are the ones when a fellow BNI member’s life is changed by a referral. I have seen it time and time again and it’s awesome every time. In BNI, the opportunities really are endless,” she says. The Givers Gain philosophy has always been a part of her life. She says she was raised that way. If a BNI member mentions they aren’t getting enough, she always challenges them to take a look at what they are giving. “The question shouldn’t be why aren’t you getting enough, the question should be how much are you giving and how could you give more?”

Was it coincidence that she found herself at a Leadership Meeting where she met a man she ended up marrying? Maybe. She likes to think it was because she was living the BNI philosophy, she gave of herself and look at all she’s gotten.

Catherine Kolkoski on Google+

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Fitting in

In my opinion, we all want to fit in somewhere. To feel like we belong. A part of life is spent finding a fit with someone else (partner for life) and  finding a  fit with other people (i.e. a church home or a team or a job).  My son is trying to find a good fit in his relationship. He has been dating for a couple of years now. He has been frustrated and hurt but also had experiences of happiness. I remind him that dating is like trying people on. You try on different people to see which one fits the best. He said that it is annoying because he likes one thing about one girl a lot and another thing about the other girl. Obviously, each one has something that the other one did not. I tell him that is what you discover when you date . You begin to find out what you value most. The characteristics that are most important to you. What characteristics you can live with and which ones are deal breakers. In my opinion, he is a lot like me. He is relationship-centered. At 19 he “wants” to be in a relationship. He treats a young lady like a lady- he respects women and wants to have a relationship with someone he can carry on a conversation with, someone who has goals and dreams for her life. In that respect he is a lot like his father. (A blessing for me!)

No matter how old I get, I still want to fit in. In a world where values seem to alter and flux a bit, I have been trying to fit in. As I was thinking about this and getting coaching from my husband about my ideas and thoughts about  “fitting in” ( and he shared a lot of great insights with me) I remembered a line in a movie I saw a long time ago, “Why am I trying so hard to fit in when I really feel like I was born to stand out?”

In my opinion, in order to make a difference in the world, you have to be different. You can’t do what everyone else is doing- that’s already getting done. You have to go another way, do something counter-cultural, in order to affect culture.

I am telling you this as much as I am reminding myself.

To find the new trail you have to get off the beaten path. Turn around. No one may be following you and you have to be OK with that. If it is right, someone might follow. Your goal may not be to lead; your goal may be to have a partner, someone who shares your journey. Maybe that’s what family is for. (Ironic, how it always comes back to family for me.) Maybe it’s that way for you. Family doesn’t have to mean blood related, it can be mean someone who is willing to walk with you, support, encourage and give you feedback when you ask for it. Someone who feels like family.  We all need someone who is as committed to an idea or a mission as we are- one other person we fit with. When you have that, you have what you need. I think that’s what my son is looking for. He wants to share his journey with someone and since he is like me, he won’t settle for anything less than a perfect fit.

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