It's Only My Opinion

Things I want to tell my kids that won't fit on Twitter

Happy Anniversary baby- Got you on my mind…

In the About page of this blog, I mentioned that I have been married 20+ years. This month is our 21st Anniversary. The fact that we’ve been married this long, is not luck. It’s not an accident. It is a choice. I choose to do the things that it takes to have a successful marriage. What those ‘things’ are, from my observations of other people, are different for every couple.

My husband and I dated for 6 years before we got married. I knew that this was the man for me the first time I danced with him when I thought he was going to kiss me (I swear my bottom lip was shaking). It took him another 5 years , 11 months and 3 weeks to know this. The ‘things’ that make or will make your relationship successful will be different from the ‘thing’ that makes our relationship successful. We have discovered, as we taught marriage preparation to engaged couples for 8 years, all couples have different ‘things’ that are deal makers for them. In my opinion, one of the keys to a long-term, successful union is discovering what that ‘thing’ is for you and your mate as soon as possible. For you it may be date night, or listening to one another or laughing a lot together or cooking together or praying together. For us, our ‘thing’ we discovered early was- unconditional support. We support one another’s aspirations, dreams and interests. That means that even if I don’t agree with something or can’t see the point of it, and it is  important to my husband, I support it. No matter what. Tattoos are not his favorite and yet, I have 3 of them. He actually paid for the most recent tattoo (yes, there will be another one someday). He has supported my desire to get my personal trainer certification and my professional choice and dedication of late. I supported his ‘boy trip’ to Chile over New Years and his desire to start and have his own business . There have been many other supported choices over the years for the both of us.

That is the ‘thing’ that works for us. In my opinion, finding that “thing” for you as a couple, as soon as you can and then hanging on to it with everything you have, could make the difference between celebrating 20 years or or more (hopefully) of marriage or…not.

So happy anniversary baby, got you on my mind…. and in my heart and soul. You complete me. (What can I say?  He likes the Jerry McGuire movie.)

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